So often it is the case that life delivers to your door that which you had given up looking for. Such is the case with the ladybird that flew unexpectedly into my life one year ago. She was the canary in the mine that led me to safe passage out of the darkness. This complex woman has awakened me from my stupor, reigniting my passion for life.
Looking back on our first meeting, it was rather auspicious that I found her hand-writing a letter, sitting at a bar. That scene embodied the dichotomy that is her nature: A cultured, fiercely intelligent, highly educated woman that knows what she likes and is not afraid to say it to anyone.
We met at a time when I was wandering aimlessly through a bleak landscape. My contact with the world was mostly superficial. The nameless faces of unremarkable characters in an unmemorable series of uninteresting encounters blended together to fill time that I just wanted to forget. Her presence was unmistakable.
She was effortlessly herself. Her confidence was not cocky – her swagger was nonchalant. In only a few brief moments she made clear her range extended from erudite to profane, from sentimental to stoic, from supple to unwavering.
Although slight in stature, she stands tall in her profession which is dominated by roughneck men and their ‘good old boy’ network. Undaunted as the outsider, she commands their respect and admiration as a trendsetter and zealous advocate. Woe to you who must tussle with her.
All the while she makes her mark amongst the brutish, heavy-handed cast of characters, she does so with poise and class. Her style is impeccable while her tongue is unfettered. She is a crass, driven woman well versed in the art of cursing.
I was drawn to her. Beautiful, funny, fearless, vulnerable, genuine – she was the first real person I had met in a million years. There would be no throwing myself at her like so many men before me. She would not be won.
But, as kismet would have it, our first meeting would not be our last. From this slow start, it did not take long for a powerful attraction to grow between us. The spark that lighted the tinder was stoked and quickly became a raging blaze.
Within days, I couldn’t stand to be away from her. Text messages, emails and phone calls filled the time between our meetings. In her infinite cleverness, she began writing letters to me in a composition notebook. This turned into two notebooks that we would trade back and forth.
We exchanged messages of longing and endearment in these notebooks far more intimate than the words we spoke aloud. The anticipation to read and have read our messages was like Christmas morning every day. The depth of our feelings for one another became more profound with each day.
This bird came out of the sky with the wind of a hurricane in her wings. She had a million ideas and the gumption to do them all. I was immediately on board – not just along for the ride. We are both “all in”.
A synergy exists between us that brings out the best in each of us. We have turned each other’s dreams and aspirations into real pursuits that we share in each day.
I give thanks to the poor fellow before me that let this bird get away. She cannot be caged and I would never dream of it. It is because she is free to fly that it is more special that she returns to me.
She is loved by those who really know her, feared by those who can’t keep up. A true original, a cut above and not someone you want to fuck with.
This one’s for you, Birdy.
I love you.